Rules & Rebellion
What shall we say then? Is the Law sin? May it never be! On the contrary, I would not have come to know sin except through the Law; for I would not have known about coveting if the Law had not said, “You shall not covet.” But sin, taking opportunity through the commandment, produced in me coveting of every kind; for apart from the Law sin is dead."
-Romans 7:7-8
Being a dad seems to be the best way to learn how to be a son. Perhaps it is watching the boys who cannot but help but carry my image (poor kids), portions of my personality, and a heaping measure of my sinful qualities that exposes who I really am. My proximity to my mini-mes continues to make me painfully and graciously aware of my substance and character.
We have a rule in our house right now — let’s call it a law — while Mama is quietly rocking baby Jude to sleep, you are unwelcome in the room. The rule is a good one, no matter how oppressive and pointed it feels to my older boys. The reality is simple: Jude needs a calm, quiet place to doze off, and my other boys cannot help but produce an environment that is diametrically opposed to gentle and serene. Their ambiance is better described as unhinged chaos, or can’t-control-my-limbs dance party. In short, Micah and Benji are in a stage that lends itself better to the outdoors or a soundproof, padded cell.
Recently, as I left the house, I had the urge to turn back and look through our glass screen door. Auna was rocking Jude to sleep in his room, and the older boys were sitting in the dining room (away from where they could incur a great deal of damage). As I turned back, I watched my four-year-old’s sweet, sneaky smile grow as he surreptitiously slid along the wall of our hallway. One finger, cunningly pressed against his lips as he nonchalantly made his way to the place where he was forbidden by our family law.
Upon my hasty return, through a sly smile, he leaked the rhetorical question: “Whaaaaaaaaat?” Like a Deuteronomic second-utterance of the law, I reminded him we do not enter into Mama and Jude’s space right now. His answer was convincing (only to him) and immediate: “I’m not!” Allowing him to sit in his dilemma, I left the house, but remembered our interaction.
After a short errand, my return hastened a follow-up question. Locking eyes with my sweet and shifty boy, we picked up the discussion where it left off: “Did you go into Jude’s room after I walked away?” You know the answer as well as I do.
In this moment, as I sat down, I was reminded of Paul’s explanation in Romans 7: the Law provokes the sin in our hearts to produce disobedience. A simple question that never entered Benji’s fun-loving mind is, “Why would I even want to hang out in a quiet, dark room?” There is nothing in there that would offer entertainment or fun, or stimulation. He loves to spend time with his mom, but she is going to offer him rebuke and direction.
So why would he feel a pull to walk himself into a situation that offers nothing but the potential for discipline and the cheap thrill of breaking a rule? The reasoning is no different than when you decide to drive 39 miles an hour in a zone that has a speed limit of 35. It is the same thing that is provoked when we are told not to touch something; I did not have any interest in touching it before you told me that I am not allowed, but now, I have to!
We are inclined to blame the rule — and there are certainly silly rules — but that is far from the problem. The problem sits internally, which is the persistent Biblical message. Your greatest problem is not with the current presidential administration, or the do’s and don’t’s set before you by your employer. The most poisonous and provocatively destructive source in your life sits engulfed in your heart… the rules simply expose the itch. As he states a few verses later, “Through the commandment sin… becomes utterly sinful.” (Rom. 7:13)
I am continually humbled by my role as a father to these sweet boys, in part, because I am reminded of how The Father deals with me. He does not offer His Law as a series of gotcha! moments. His Law is good, and I am not. Something has to die in me daily, and something else has to rise in me that I might be able to see His Law as good and I might be able to walk according to it. The Law provokes what is underneath the surface and He is the only One who can alter my affections and capacity to follow Him in His wisdom and peace.
God’s promise is not that He will change His unchangeable and perfect Law, but that He will offer you a new heart that replaces the old, providing a new life that can walk in grace and truth. The question is whether you will submit yourself to His love.